Stop feeling guilty!
by bibi 13ca
Summary: After Damon kisses Elena, everything turns into a guilt trip, but he decides that a simple kiss isn't worth it and goes back to her house. Fic written for the Author2Author Valentine's Day exchange. Rated M for a reason!


**N: My 3****rd**** and last one-shot for the Valentine's Day author2author exchange. Written for a_phobiac (Athazagoraphobiac), hope you like it girl. I decided to go for Damon's pov…huh…yeah.**

**Thank you Ella for beta-reading this so fast!**

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><p><strong>Guilty pleasures<strong>

I don't even try asking myself how I ended up in the big tree in front of her house. I have a bottle of 'Red Label' in my hand. It's half empty. Yes, it's my third bottle actually. Even if I only stay drunk for a few minutes, it is worth it. If for five minutes I just stop feeling guilty, it's a fucking miracle at this point. Somewhere between the bar and my house I decided a silly little kiss was not worth feeling guilty about, so here I am, by her window, waiting for her to go to her room. I need a real reason to feel guilty.

Even if I am actually drunk at this point, I still hear her heartbeat and the sound is enough to make my own dammed heart beat as well…or at least try. It aches in my chest because all that damn useless organ wants to do is go to her. I either know everything there is to know about love or nothing at all. I thought I loved Katherine from the first time I touched her. I thought I loved her so much that nothing else would ever matter and that I would love her forever. And then _Elena_ happened and everything I thought I knew about love was suddenly not applicable.

I was always the type that really believed in letting the one you love be as free as possible to make their own choices, but not with her. I just can't. If there's even the tiniest chance she might get herself hurt, all I want to do is protect her. Call me crazy – sometimes I swear I am – but I am pretty sure I wouldn't survive without her. She is not just the air I breathe; I don't even fucking need that…she's my guiding light, my soul and essence. I'm not lost without her, I'm _nothing_ without her.

Freedom of action is just a myth to me when it comes to her. I seriously feel like sometimes I am physically incapable of staying away from her. There's a light shiver going through my body as I remember the kiss we shared just a few hours ago. In that moment, all I could think about was 'she's not pushing me away' and then her lips connected with mine and I realized she was kind of kissing me back…in a soft, shy and very Elena-like way. She was feeling guilty; I could practically feel the guilt on her lips and on mine as well.

Loyalty, what is loyalty these days, right? My brother killed for me, sold his soul to the devil for me, ripped entire towns apart for me…to save me and here I was, kissing his girl. But she wasn't actually his girl, not anymore, right? I used to see her like that, like my brother's girl. Every time I went near her, I'd remind myself she is not mine to look after or care for. I might be going crazy, but even since she came looking for me the night I got bitten by wolf-boy she didn't feel like she belonged to someone else. I am still waiting for the moment she will contradict me when I say she is my brother's girl and a part of me dies every time she doesn't.

Cursed. I might be cursed for all eternity to love a girl that will never love me back, a girl that will always belong to someone else; to my brother. But she doesn't belong to him. Not anymore anyway. A woman…a woman not a girl; a woman that reacts the way she does when I touch her cannot belong to someone else. Sometimes she just looks at me in a way that makes my head spin and my cold blood heat. No! I just refuse to believe it's all just a product of my imagination. It's happened way too many times for me to think that.

The door to her room opens and closes with a soft click and I get a little closer. She takes a seat by the edge of the bed and touches her lips with the tip of her fingers. She passes the tip of her tongue over her bottom lip, biting it softly. I shiver as a reaction to her sensual gesture. A small smile paints her face and I can't help but do the same. So she doesn't regret that kiss as much as I thought. Soon, I decide I should make my presence known and as soon as she disappears into the bathroom, I go in. careful not to make too much noise I take another gulp and place the bottle on the bedside table.

"Damon!" she shouts placing her hand on her chest and I'm now even more aware of the thin blouse she's wearing and the rhythm of her heartbeat. She takes a small step back and raises an eyebrow at me. I know what that means. She knows I'm drunk.

"Hello, Elena," I hiss. Talking turns out to be a bit of a challenge, but I manage. I can barely remember the last time I'd been this drunk.

I pull myself off the mattress and almost lose my balance. She immediately reacts and tries to help me, but I pull away.

"I'm fine, just a bit tipsy," I say. I'm a vampire…hell, half of the time I wish I were this drunk, but right now it's messing with my senses and I feel a bit confused, I don't like that. Being confused around Elena it's usually something that happens due to our erotic chemistry or sexual tension not the amount of alcohol I've consumed. As unlivable as it sounds I'm a bit ashamed for coming to see her in this state. Luckily the feeling will be gone in a few minutes. I take a deep – unnecessary – breath and her scent brings me back to reality.

"Damon, what are you doing here? It's late…" she says like that's supposed to make sense to me. It doesn't so I tell her so.

"It's 11:25 pm, I've visited later than that," I say and she rolls her big, chocolate-brown eyes at me. I actually love when she does that, I don't know why, I just do.

After I shake my head a bit I notice she's put her hair up in a pony-tail. She looks adorable. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for long hair when it comes to women, but the vampire inside me just craves that visual of their throats…so small and delicate, waiting to be explored and tasted. I would be a liar if I said I didn't want her blood. Oh, I craved her blood like nothing or no one else's in my whole existence, but I'll never do something to hurt her; besides, unwillingly feeding on someone is painful. If she would only admit she wants it too. I've seen the way she looks at me; it's different from the way she looks at Stefan. She sees Stefan as human with fangs and cold skin. She sees me as I am: a vampire.

"You're drunk," she tells me, like it's not obvious.

"Yeah, I thought we covered that when I stood up and almost fell at your feet. Literally speaking, because metaphorically, we both know it happened a long time ago."

"I don't like it when you're drunk," she takes a step forward, but she is shy…she hesitates and I can almost read her mind…she's scared.

"Elena…you have to know that no matter what state I'm in, I would never hurt you. You know that right?" I ask and she nods vigorously. I hope she does believe me, because I was definitely not kidding when I said I might be physically incapable of hurting her, staying away from her, or leaving her when she needs me.

"Why are you here, Damon?" she asks in a whisper and I smirk. She's playing dumb, I know this game. I fucking invented this game.

"You know why I'm here Elena," I fire and she tucks her hair behind her ear. I know she does that every time she is nervous. Of course I am not stupid; I know why she is nervous. I am more or less in the same place as her right now. Torn between doing what I really want and doing the right thing. Damn, why is always doing the right thing so damn hard and has to be against what you actually desire to do? "I kissed you and you…kissed me back," I finish and I see her eyes change color. They go darker a shade or two and she looks good enough to eat.

"Damon, don't…" I don't let her finish. In a heartbeat I'm in front of her, taking over her personal space. I stroke her hair, pulling the clip out. It's so soft between my fingers and it smells fresh and sweet. I've always liked the way she smells. I continue to stroke her, allowing my fingertips to wander over her features. Her skin is soft and warm underneath my skin. I cup her face and she tilts her head, nestling it in the palm of my hand. "Oh…please…" she pleads and I have no idea what she's begging me for.

"You did kiss me back, right? I wasn't imagining it happen."

"Yes I did…I kissed you back…" she mumbles and I smirk again, satisfied that it hadn't been all a product of my imagination.

"And you felt it to. I am not going crazy, that fire…that desire…?"

"Damon…"

"Answer me!" I order.

She takes a step backwards and I follow immediately. As she tries to take another step back, she hits the wall and a malicious grin spreads across my face.

"Nowhere to run, Elena. I guess you'll have to answer my question," I purr close to her ear and I feel her body shiver lightly against mine. The vibrations of her body are making mine respond. Like I said, it's all about chemistry.

"What do you want me to say Damon? That I want you? Of course I want you; I would be the biggest liar if I were to say otherwise. I mean, it's obvious, right? You touch me, I shiver, you talk to me and I can barely breathe and that kiss left me breathless, speechless and itchy. You want me to tell you if I feel the chemistry and the fire that is between us? Of course I do. Sometimes I can't even sleep because of it. I lay in bed for hours thinking about how it would feel to touch you and let you touch me…to allow myself to go there…it's driving me crazy Damon, because I'm afraid that if I let myself go there, the passion would consume me…" she stops and takes in a breath. My eyes are now wide open, watching her in disbelief. A few minutes ago she told me not to go there and now she's the one that spills the beans.

"What I want you to do Elena…is answer my question," I don't wait for her approval and I just go ahead and ask her: "Are you still his girl?" I ask and there's another change in her eyes. She is conflicted and I don't blame her. "Do you still belong to him, Elena?"

"No," she answers simply and I am the one taking a step back this time. "I don't belong to him…I never actually belonged to him because there was always a part of me that cried for you, that craved you, that wanted you. It wasn't easy, but it was easier to fight it when he was there by my side, but after he was gone…it got almost impossible to control. Do you have any idea how many times I've wanted to kiss you…just bury my fingers in your hair and kiss you?" I shook my head. "Of course you don't, because I actually did it."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because it would be wrong…he didn't leave me, he was forced to go," she offered.

"Well, guess what princess, your reason's not good enough, he still left and…don't you think you owe it to me and to yourself to see where it goes? Don't you think that after all we've been through and after all I've done for you, I deserve the truth? Why keep lying to me, to him and to yourself that you love him and only him when you know you feel something for me?"

"Because I didn't know how to deal with it!" she yells.

"Well we'll find a way because we can't go on like this," I said approaching her again. This time she doesn't even try to pull back. "I can't pretend I don't want you…" I place my hands on both sides of her body, making her my prisoner. "…when all I can think about is touching you…" I brush the hair off her face and gently caress her jawline with my fingers. "…feeling you…" I continue my path down her silly throat and she moans softly. "…kissing you…" my lips softly brush over hers and I feel her lips crack open like they are actually asking me to crush them and take over her mouth. I can't resist and as soon as her arms wrap around my neck, I give up and give the girl what she so desperately wants.

My lips crush hers and I'm once again surprised by the level of perfection our lips together have. This girl was made for me and whoever even thinks otherwise is obviously insane. I push my tongue inside and look for hers. She meets me half way and we start a battle for dominance. The feeling of her fingers tangling in my hair and pulling at it slightly is getting to me and the animalistic part of me takes over, and pins her against the wall, crushing her body with my own until every inch of our bodies is connected. Not only does she not push me away, but she actually pulls me closer. Her hips start rocking back and forward; her pubic bone brushing against my erection.

I let out a soft growl as my lips leave hers to continue down her throat. Her pulse is strong and accelerated underneath my lips and it takes almost all the self-control I have to not sink my teeth into her artery and just suck the life out of her. She smells so good…like always and the scent of her arousal almost pushes me over the limit.

"God…Damon, please," she begs and I don't know if she's asking me to stop or to go on. I pull back a little, but I keep my hands on her waist in case she's not trying to get rid of me. "We shouldn't be doing this," she says softly and I almost roll my eyes. 'No shit genius,' of course we shouldn't and I can give her fifty reasons just on the top of my head why not, but I guess sometimes you just can't help how you feel.

"Probably not, but we shouldn't have kissed in the first place, right? But we did and we can't take it back. If we're feeling guilty for something might as well go for the whole menu," I swear it made more sense in my head, but as I said that out loud, I realise it doesn't sound that good and wise. I'm telling you, love makes you say, do, and feel the craziest things. You give sense to things that have none and you just push reason out of the way.

"Damon…" she breathes. I swear she couldn't have said it better with a full sentence. She always had this ability to tell an entire story just by saying my name.

"I guaranty you that I'll make it worth it," I murmur against her ear and I feel her body tense against mine. I think I'm actually holding my breath waiting for her answer, but I can't be sure since breathing or not breathing doesn't make a difference to me.

"I know," she said and I raise an eyebrow at her.

"You do?" I ask surprised.

"Well…I…uh…heard things…I imagine…ugh, don't make me say this," she pleads, but I'm still too tipsy to be a gentleman, so I push my hips forward as I deepen my fingers in her silky hair. My free hand goes underneath her ass and I pull her up effortlessly. I place her on the counter in front of the mirror. Her arms go around my neck as I make the move and once her bottom's on the wooden surface, I wonder if she'd let go. She doesn't.

"And what is that you heard, Elena?"

"Caroline might have mentioned something…"

"Something…" I push, she scoffs and I understand. "I take it you believe the rumors then?"

"Are they not true?" she asks in a fake innocent voice that has a big effect on the lower parts of my body.

"Only one way to find out love," I whimper before my hands start caressing her hips and thighs. It's like they have a mind of their own. I place a few butterfly kisses behind her ear and right underneath it and her body trembles. When I suck her earlobe into my mouth she purrs my name in a way that makes my dick instantly hard.

Like the animal that I am, I rip her thin blouse off of her and actually enjoy the tearing sound as it pierces my ears. My sensitive hearing also picks up the sound of the three tiny buttons hitting different surfaces in the room. She's not wearing a bra so her full breasts are now completely exposed. My eyes leave hers to stare at her perfection for a few seconds before I hear her moan my name with need. I cup her breasts, one of them in each hand, and I start massaging them slowly. I let my thumbs go in circles around her nipples a few times and I can't help but adore the way her back arches to push her chest even deeper in my hands. Her buds are pushing between my fingers, crying for attention, but I'm not ready to give her what she wants yet, not until she begs for it.

"Please," is the only word she whispers over and over and each time it sounds like it just came out with her last breath.

"Tell me what you want Elena. For once, don't think about it, just feel. What do you feel?"

"I feel like my whole body's in flames…it burns, but in a good way and in some places it tingles…" she utters and I smile softly.

"Where does it tingle?"

"Here," she places her fingertips just an inch away from her carotid artery and I can't help but find it incredibly sexy.

"Where else?"

"On my breasts…on my nipples and…and between my legs…it aches," she says. Her cheeks turn a soft shade of pink. It's adorable.

"Is there something you want me to do about that?" I look at her and do that 'eye thing' – how she calls it. I know she can't resist that, she told me herself when she told me to stop doing it.

"Yes, please…"

"What?"

"For starters, you could kiss me," she almost shouts, pulling me into a deep, burning, all-consuming kiss that leaves us both panting. "Kiss!" she orders pointing at the joints between her neck and shoulder. I don't wait to be told twice as I stick my tongue in the small cavity that is created every time she moves her head.

"Oh, yes…" she moans.

I continue on her shoulders and collarbone, nibbling at her smooth flesh, enjoying the uttered begs and moans that come out of her mouth. Going lower, I reach her breasts. Just like with my thumbs, I use the tip of my tongue only around the rosy buds.

"Damon! Please," she cries out again.

"Please what?"

"I want you to…just…"

"You want me to what?" I push. I can feel her, she's almost there. "Tell me what to do, Elena," I whisper and I swear the way her body responds to my words is just crazy.

"I want you to suck on my nipples," she finally says and then she closes her eyes. I know she's embarrassed, but I want her to feel comfortable and I want her to ask for what she wants, because…because I would give her anything she wants and because…she'll want it from me.

"Open your eyes first," I say and they slowly flutter open. They're big, brown, warm, and beautiful as always, and now…now they hold a new emotion…_arousal_. She's turned on to the point where she'll actually verbalize her desires, just the way I like it.

After one last kiss along her throat, my lips close around one of her needy buds. She cries out my name and an electric shock travels through my whole body, stopping on the tip of my dick that starts pulsating against my thigh. My tongue comes out to play and starts going up and down over her nipples. When I pull back an inch and blow on it, her legs wrap around my waist and her hands fly to her head, tangling her fingers in her hair.

"Don't…God…please, just don't stop…"

"I only just started baby," I assure her and all she's able to say is a long 'hhhmmm'.

Slowly, I take off her jeans. She's wearing a tiny bikini, in black and red, my all-time favorite colors. I wonder if she did that on purpose. I guess I asked the question out loud, because the next thing I hear is her, asking me, "what if I did."

"Then I guess I should take my time in taking them off," I say.

As soon as my tongue brushes over her clit through the material, she moves her hand on the surface and knocks out a few makeup articles. I stop and look at her; she doesn't even care; all she wants is everything else to fall to the ground so she can have the space she needs. I understand. I don't need words to understand a woman. After a hundred and sixty-eight years, I learned a thing or two, especially if by making a hobby out of sleeping with every girl I meat. But then again, Elena isn't just any girl. She's _my_ girl.

I pick her up and in a split second I place her carefully on the mattress. I spread her legs and kneel by the edge. She gasps at the first contact my tongue makes with her burning skin. Her sensitive bundle of nerves starts growing under the expert touch of my tongue and I can sense she's close, so I push the underwear aside and go for the full on contact.

"Ugggghh…God…" she screams. She's close…so close…and I stop.

"Wh…what are you…why did you stop?"

"So you can tell me what to do next," I say nonchalantly.

"Damon!" she shouts.

"Remember, no thinking, just tell me what you want."

"I want you to make me come," she says firmly and I give her a small reassuring smile before lowering my head between her legs again.

I let my middle finger slip inside her and she clings on to me in the most possessive and primitive way possible. My tongue goes back on her clit as I add a second finger and start moving in and out, pushing against her sensitive bud. I keep my fingers a bit curled inside to make sure I hit her G-spot, I feel it, different then the rest of it, caressing the tip of my fingers as I thrust inside her wetness.

She screams, she yells, she pushes, she pulls…all at once as release finally finds her. Her body's shaking so hard that I have the restrain her. Not to sound too cocky, but when it comes to women, I'm an artist, I create art; on them, with them and for them, if given the chance. It there's one thing I excel at, it is satisfying a woman in bed. And clearly, the woman beside me has been satisfied.

She opens her eyes slowly and looks for mine. When our gazes finally meet, there's a spark. Her eyes are dark, almost back and she shocks me again.

"I want you inside me…I'm all wet and ready for you," she whispers and I lose it. God, I love this woman! Her low, seductive voice is like music to my sensitive ears and I immediately get rid of my shirt and pants to make sure she'll get what she wants. I just _have_ _to_ give her what she wants. I told her once to stop assuming I would do anything because it's her who's asking. She didn't say anything because she knew. She knows what kind of power she has over me and she knows how to take advantage of it. I hate it and love it all at once.

Her eyes are traveling all over my body, ogling, taking everything in and when she licks her lips I smile cockily.

"See something you like, Elena?" I purr.

"Yes…please, hurry," she pleads. I must admit that hearing her beg for me to fuck her is quiet a turn on – not that I needed more.

I slowly pull off my boxers, enjoying the hungry look in her eyes. Once I am completely naked, I step by the edge of the bed, right between her legs. I just stay there and watch her for a minute. Her messy chocolate-brown hair's making a beautiful contrast on the immaculate white sheets; her eyes are wide open and their color changed from golden-brown to nut-brown and I can barely tell the difference between the pupils and the irises, her cheeks are a bit flushed, holding a soft shade of pink that makes her look delicious and finally…her lips, they're slightly swollen and that very fact makes them look somehow sexier.

I use the tip of my cock to tease her, brushing it against her clit and lower lips. She pushes her hips forward, her pussy trying to swallow my dick and I pull back.

"Stop teasing!"

"Say please," I push, because I'm enjoying hearing her beg more than any normal person would. There's something about her needing me that gets me all excited.

"Please," she murmurs in a crying voice.

When I finally drive into her, an animalist growl comes out of my throat. She's so wet and hot, her muscles envelope me and it feels like nothing I've ever felt before. Her body's trembling softly as she cries my name….

"Damon…Damon…"

"I love the way you're chanting my name right now," I say and she opens her eyes at the sound if my voice.

"Damon," she whimpers again.

I place my hands on her hips and fill her to the hilt. Soon my thrusts become more powerful and I expect her to break or yell at me to slow down any moment, but she doesn't. She is actually arching her back, pushing her hips off the mattress to meet my every thrust.

"Yes…God…it feels so good…do…don't stop."

"I couldn't even if I wanted," I answer.

"You drive me crazy, you know that?" she asks and I slow down the pace and look her in the eyes.

"Do I?"

"Yes, you do. Your blue eyes, your sexy smirk, your sinful body and sensual moves…they are all driving me crazy."

Using my vampire speed, I switch places. I'm holding her in my lap now, her long, smooth legs around my hips and as soon as she starts moving back and forward nothing else matters. Our foreheads touch as we stare into each other's eyes. We're connected and I'm not talking just physically. I can feel her heart beating like it's my own and her soft moans and whispers are echoing in my mind and I want to keep them in there forever.

"Come for me baby," I say and she screams my name again. Her orgasm makes her body vibrate against my own and her inner muscles tighten around my dick hard enough to make me follow her. We stay like that, in each other's arms for a few minutes before she finally talks.

"You just ruined every other man for me," she says softly and I smirk.

"I know," I say simply.

She cups my face and kisses me, taking me by surprise. She goes deep and slow, savoring my mouth with each stroke of her tongue the only thing I can do is respond with all the passion that burns inside of me.

"Can we stay like this forever?" she asks when she pulls back.

"Anything for you, love," I whisper capturing her lips again.

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><p><strong>N: Liked it, hated it? review and let me know.<strong>


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